Will Hope Solo Play Soccer Again

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Photographed by Lia Clay; Styled by Ronald Burton

Information technology'south midmorning at the farmers' market place in Greensboro, North Carolina, and Hope Solo, the former goalkeeper of the U.S Women'southward National Soccer Team, stands past a table full of pansies. Over the course of her career, she'south been called the well-nigh controversial female athlete live, won gilded in two Olympics and 1 Globe Cup, and spoken out oft about women's equality. Today, though, her concerns are more than prosaic. She wants flowers to plant under the flagpole on the l-acre belongings where she lives with her hubby, quondam NFL player Jerramy Stevens. "Nosotros demand way more than than this," she says, moving on. "Jerramy's going to be and so disappointed."

The market place is spread across a few big open-air enclosures. There are booths filled with fruits and funnel cakes, older couples holding easily, and lots of women wearing T-shirts printed with empowering messages. And then there is Solo, a lithe, broad-shouldered effigy dressed casually in maroon Converse and gold Ray-Bans. Walking through the garden shop, she spots a stone ornament that reads "Welcome" with a moo-cow, sheep, and squealer perched cutely on top. "I need that," she says. "Oh yeah, I need that."

"That is ane of the things that surprised me almost about Hope," says Roger Pielke, who directs the Sports Governance Heart at the University of Colorado in Boulder and met Solo concluding year when she gave a lecture at his class. "The departure between who she is in person and the spin that's been generated about her for a long time."

I think I'm pretty polarizing.

During Solo'south 17 years playing with the national team, she became the nigh ascendant female goalkeeper in the game. Her supporters would argue she remains, today, the all-time goalkeeper in the globe, full stop, the one with the most international appearances (202) and shutouts (102). Her detractors would counter that she is known as much for her off-the-field candor and her legal entanglements as for her on-field excellence. The truism is that everyone has an opinion. "She inspires love and hate in extremes," ESPN wrote in 2017, upon her inclusion in a listing of the world's 100 most famous athletes (she was number 75). "I recall I'g pretty polarizing," she tells me at the market, though fifty-fifty that term tin seem like an oversimplification. In the time we spend together, she's equal parts guarded and honest, defensive and emotionally generous. She seems to have a black-and-white view of the globe at 1 moment, and a ramble resistance to offering easy conclusions at another. "Hope Solo is non tied up in a nice, peachy packet with a bow, at all," says Lesle Gallimore, her college coach. "Don't ever be surprised by anything she says. That'due south rule number one."

Among the things Solo says that do surprise me: She hasn't played soccer—has hardly touched the ball—since her career came to an abrupt halt at the 2016 Rio Olympics, during which she declared that the Swedish squad, to whom the Americans lost in the quarterfinals, had played like "a bunch of cowards." She'd gone on to elaborate that she was referring to the Swedish team having played defensively, a widely acknowledged ascertainment, but after a reporter tweeted out the most incendiary bits, it prompted a social media firestorm. Twelve days later, the U.S. Soccer Federation (USSF) suspended Solo for half dozen months and terminated her contract.

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Within iii months, she and Stevens uprooted themselves from the suburbs of Seattle, where Solo had lived for years while playing in the National Women's Soccer League for the Seattle Reign, and started off across the country in an enormous RV, consummate with a king-size bed, a necessity for Stevens, who is 6'seven". In January, they made a final detour to attend the Women's March in DC, and so arrived in North Carolina, an area they'd chosen for no reason other than information technology fit their specifications, which involved proximity to a major drome, mountains, and a coast, then Stevens could fish. They spent the next year living in their RV while building a compound that will eventually include two houses, a pool, a vegetable garden, an octagonal dojo, chickens, pigs, a turkey named Zeus, and five Dobermans.

Merely now, with the work well under way, Solo is starting time to step back into the public eye. She has a Telly bear witness in development with Eric Wynalda, some other outspoken onetime soccer player. Final April, information technology was announced that the moving picture financing and product company Argent Pictures had acquired the rights to her life story and would be turning information technology into a biopic. "Information technology's scary," she says. "You know, I look at the, bless her middle, Tonya Harding flick, I, Tonya. At the cease of the mean solar day, yous don't go editing rights." And this week every bit the women's squad heads to France for the Earth Cup, she'll be there, too, as a commentator for the BBC. She'southward already made headlines for criticizing Coach Jill Ellis saying that she "cracks under pressure."

In the pb-upwardly to the games, a larger drama has also been unfolding, one in which Solo has played a pivotal office. In 2016, she was one of five players to file a gender discrimination complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) confronting the U.S. Soccer Federation, claiming the pay and working conditions of the women's squad were inferior to those of the men'due south, despite the latter's lack of success— the men'south team hasn't medaled at the World Loving cup since 1930 and didn't qualify for the 2018 tournament, whereas the women's record is such that annihilation other than gold is considered a failure. In August 2018, with the EEOC complaint at a standstill, Solo filed a federal lawsuit confronting the USSF. The 28 women currently on the national team followed suit seven months after.

Solo isn't limited by the aforementioned constraints as her quondam teammates, for whom filing ways taking time out from preparing for the World Cup and suing their electric current employer. Solo's relationship with some of the players remains fraught plenty, though, that her presence is not ever welcome. Withal, argues Rich Nichols, one of two lawyers representing Solo, "If I'm in a foxhole, I want Hope with me, because I've got a great chance of getting out of there alive."

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Dress, Monse. Hoop earrings, Lagos.

Lia Dirt

This perspective is easy to sympathize. When I'd arrived at the market place, I'd spotted Solo on a grassy loma at the edge of a parking lot, her white Contrivance idling nearby. She was a lone figure, like she frequently was on the soccer field—she has to be one of the nigh aptly named athletes of all time—as two Dobermans, both female person, one in heat, wove around her with taut grace.

Solo and Stevens began keeping the brood because Stevens idea they reminded him of her. "They're loyal, purple, and people are scared of them," Solo told People in 2015. "Just they wouldn't hurt a fly." Every bit I go closer to her, though, they snap to attention and rush in my direction. Information technology's just when she calls to them that they slow, so stop a few feet away, growling softly.

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Solo during the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro

EVARISTO SA Getty Images

Solo decided she would be a professional person soccer player in the early '90s when she was in middle school—as a child, when asked about her favorite character, she'd answer "a ball"—though at the time there wasn't any reason to believe this was possible. FIFA organized its offset women's world championship in 1991 (it wasn't chosen a Earth Cup because FIFA thought it might non deserve the name), and the American players, when they won, received $500 each.

For years, women on the national team carried their own equipment and stayed at hotels that sometimes didn't have electricity. "We'd joke in the outset, Oh, it builds grapheme," U.Due south. midfielder Julie Foudy says in Caitlin Murray's book The National Team. "But past the end, it was similar, Okay, I am up to my fucking eyeballs in grapheme." The uphill boxing made it all the more momentous when they captured the nation'south attention at the 1999 Globe Cup, held in the U.S., winning during penalty kicks in front of ninety,185 screaming fans.

The tournament turned the players, dubbed "the ponytail posse," into celebrities. An image of Brandi Chastain kneeling with her fists raised, her face an expression of such elation that her cervix veins pop out, proved iconic. Mia Hamm was featured on a Wheaties box and even referenced on Friends (every bit "that annoying girl soccer player," but all the same). They became a social cause as much as a sports team, i consisting of ready-made role models who were perceived as deeply loyal to one another, and for the almost role, they were.

When Solo began playing with them in 2000, though, she quickly proved out of sync with the existing civilization. "From other players, I'd hear two things," says Wynalda, who met Solo in the mid-aughts while working at ESPN. "They did not capeesh her candor, and they deemed her selfish. They were like, Wow, we demand to become her media training now." ("I didn't think I needed to be all-time friends with everyone," Solo says virtually her teammates. "You had to desire to win and to become shopping.") But Solo was never a role player for whom media training was going to have. Every bit she wrote in her 2012 memoir, Solo, "I don't similar anyone telling me how I'1000 supposed to feel or recall or what I'm supposed to say. If I had meekly accepted what others told me, my life would be radically different.... I would take viewed myself as a failure."

Conceived during a conjugal visit while her father, a Vietnam veteran and quondam con creative person, was in prison, Solo grew upwards in Richland, Washington, the site of the nuclear reactor responsible for the plutonium in the bomb dropped on Nagasaki in 1945 (one of her loftier schoolhouse's cheers was "Nuke 'em, nuke 'em, nuke 'em till they glow!"). She was raised largely by her mother and stepfather, and her closest family relationships involved a tight coil of dear, loyalty, and dysfunction. "War was waged on physical and emotional levels," she writes in Solo about her human relationship with her older brother, Marcus. "[Merely] he was not merely my tormentor; he was my closest family member and my protector." Solo had a profound connection with her begetter, who was her starting time soccer bus, despite the fact that when she was vii, he kidnapped her and Marcus, an episode that concluded with constabulary surrounding the group, guns drawn. Her mother was an inspiringly independent figure, an environmental scientist with a black belt in karate, but one time she began drinking heavily, she and Solo fought oft. Solo herself, in fourth grade, stood upwardly to a bang-up taunting another kid, but in high schoolhouse at the canton fair, punched a girl she'd heard had slept with her boyfriend. (Solo'south mom's response to the girl's parents: "Did she tell you why?")

Soccer, a sport in which Solo showed early hope, was something she fought for, too. When her mom and stepdad told her they couldn't afford to proceed paying the club and program fees associated with the sport, "I lost my shit," she says in the 2016 documentary series Keeping Score. "I don't retrieve they really knew how much playing soccer and being successful at information technology burned inside of me." To keep playing, Solo relied on donations from neighbors, family unit friends, and coaches.

Solo attended the University of Washington in Seattle, where a sometimes disheveled homo oftentimes showed up at her games: her father, who had become homeless. Over the side by side few years, as Solo established herself as the starting goalkeeper for the national team, his life stabilized, and their relationship deepened. Then in the summer of 2007, he suddenly passed abroad. This was the backdrop, for Solo, of the 2007 World Cup in China, which took place three months later.

In the first four games, Solo performed well (earlier matches, she sprinkled her father's ashes between the goalposts). Only and so, in what remains a baffling call, the charabanc benched her in favor of veteran goalkeeper Briana Scurry, who'd played in the '99 Globe Cup. The Americans lost the semifinal 4-0. "It was the incorrect decision," Solo told the press afterward, in a shaky vocalisation. "And I recollect anybody who knows annihilation about the game knows that. There's no doubt in my mind I would accept fabricated those saves."

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It says something almost Solo's single-mindedness that even today, she doesn't second-guess her comments. "I didn't throw everyone under the bus," she says. "I believed in myself." But her remarks were seen as and so across the pale by her teammates that even her male parent's death didn't serve as a mitigating factor. Solo had to wing dwelling on a separate flight and wasn't immune to eat with the grouping for weeks. At one indicate, she walked onto an elevator merely to accept her teammates step off. More broadly, she found herself among a swirl of public support and condemnation that she'south since encountered once again and again (her gifts to the think-piece economy accept been considerable). Would a man take prompted the aforementioned censure? Was the squad's response fair? Was a certain level of swagger essential to being a world-class goalkeeper?

The position, after all, requires not just athleticism and rapid reflexes, but hard-headed fortitude. "The mentality of a goalkeeper is very different from that of a field player," Scurry says. "Partly considering the ratio of responsibility to praise is flipped on its head." While tending goal, Solo threw herself around with an carelessness that suggested she was made of a material less destructible than mankind and bone. She had ferocious focus. She also projected a combination of fearlessness and defiance that had the power to change the tenor of a game. "Simply her presence on the field elevates the rest of the team's play," wrote the New Yorker's Caitlin Kelly in 2015. "They seem to attack more than aggressively, more confidently, knowing that she'south protecting the net." Kelly's article, past the way, was as well a think slice. "But is it worth it?" she added.

After the 2007 World Cup, Solo worked her mode back into her squad's (semi) skilful graces. And in the fickle way these things tin can get, by the adjacent one, in 2011, when the U.S. took silvery, she was a marketable media darling, with endorsements rumored to be in the 7 figures. "At present look at her," read a 2011 ESPN piece about Solo published a week subsequently her flavor of Dancing With the Stars launched, and a month earlier she posed nude on the cover of ESPN's "The Torso" consequence. "America can't go plenty." Which is how things might have continued if, on the eve of her wedding, Stevens hadn't been arrested for domestic violence.

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Solo and partner Maksim Chmerkovskiy on Dancing With the Stars in 2011.

Adam Taylor Getty Images

They'd met in college, but got to know each other in their midtwenties, while Stevens played for the Seattle Seahawks, followed by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Then in the fall of 2011, Stevens, no longer in the NFL, grabbed Solo'south hands over sushi in L.A. and told her he loved her. "I didn't know what to say," Solo says. "So I said, 'Fuck you,' and nosotros didn't talk for a year." The next time they did, "everything just barbarous to the side," she says. They decided to get married two months later.

Stevens also had a complicated history. In college, he'd been arrested on suspicion of sexual assault (prosecutors didn't press charges, but he and a fraternity virtually the alleged incident later settled a civil suit with the woman for $300,000). He'd as well been cited for a striking-and-run and two DUIs. But more than than one person who spoke to me dismissed the idea that he was abusive to Solo. "If she could have picked someone to magnify her own personality and drama, she picked him!" Gallimore says. "But one thing people don't need to worry about is how Hope is treated."

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Solo'southward married man Jerramy Stevens congratulates her after the United states won the final friction match against Nippon at the 2015 FIFA Women'south World Cup.

FRANCK FIFE Getty Images

What Solo says happened the night earlier her hymeneals is that a small group came over to her dwelling house, a graceful spread with sprawling views. "We idea everyone could merely be happy for us," she says. "It was dumb." Instead, around 4 a.1000., "our two asshole brothers, basically, get into this argument." When cops arrived, they discovered that Solo had a encarmine elbow and arrested Stevens. (This story is echoed in a subsequent argument Marcus gave a twelvemonth after the incident, in 2013.) Stevens was released without charges, and he and Solo married hours later—"It was the virtually triumphant mean solar day," she says—simply it forever inverse how Solo was perceived.

It also meant that when Solo was arrested ii years afterwards, for domestic violence, people were less likely to give her the benefit of the uncertainty. This time, the fight was between Solo, her half sister, and her 17-year-old nephew—police reports depict an statement that escalated into a physical altercation in which anybody considered themselves the victim. Solo pleaded not guilty, and charges were dropped on procedural grounds in January 2015. A calendar week later, Stevens bought Solo a Gucci dress and they went out to celebrate; on their way home, Stevens, driving a USSF van, was charged with a DUI.

The Earth Loving cup was held in Canada that summer, and during the beginning week, the TV show Outside the Lines aired an episode dedicated to the incident. (The case was afterward reopened, then eventually dropped again.) Just whatsoever pressure level Solo was under didn't impact her goalkeeping. One of her most impressive saves took place during the semifinal against Germany. After a High german thespian was granted a penalty boot, Solo stalled. Deutschland is known for never missing PKs, but Solo sauntered to her h2o bottle. She took a sip. She looked out at the stadium, where the crowd was making so much racket it was as much a physical vibration every bit a sound. Finally she stepped dorsum to the cyberspace and the whistle blew. The player kicked left and Solo threw her trunk to the right, simply it didn't thing. The ball was wide. "We knew right then nosotros were going to win the World Cup," defender Ali Krieger says in The National Squad. "That was information technology. That'south when we knew: This is ours."

The last was watched past a reported 25 million Americans and remains the country's most-viewed soccer match, male or female. Only the tournament too highlighted long-standing discrepancies between the women's squad and the men'south. It was played on bogus turf, an undisputedly more hard terrain than natural grass, whereas the men's Globe Cup has always been on grass. When the women won, the team's bonus was $2 million. In 2014, when the men lost in the sixteenth round, theirs was $9 million.

The women's team had long chafed against the sport'southward culture of chauvinism, epitomized by at present former FIFA president Sepp Blatter, who in the mid-aughts suggested that to increment the popularity of the women's game, "They could, for case, have tighter shorts." And they had pushed for better treatment and pay. All the style back in 1995, after helm Julie Foudy conferred with Billie Jean Rex, pinnacle players threatened to cold-shoulder the Olympics if the USSF didn't pay them bonuses equal to the men. (The federation responded past locking them out of a training camp.) Simply Solo believed the team never fought back forcefully enough. "Everybody else just kind of went along with everything," says U.Due south. forward Carli Lloyd, a close friend of Solo's. "But Hope was okay with confrontation. I call up she actually jump-started the conversation."

In 2013, Solo argued for a strike but was overruled. Then in 2014, at Solo's urging, the team replaced the lawyer who'd long represented the players' matrimony with Nichols, known for his pugnacious approach. Nichols then hired Jeffrey Kessler and his colleagues at Winston & Strawn as outside counsel. (Kessler handled Tom Brady's Deflategate, amid other high-profile cases.) One of their opening moves was filing the EEOC suit.

It represented "an almost classic instance of gender bigotry," Kessler told ELLE at the time. In 2016, if the women won every one of their required 20 annual exhibition games, they could brand $99,000. If the men lost everyone, they'd be paid $100,000. And while height female players earned a salary similar to that of elevation men—in 2015, Solo fabricated almost $366,000—lower-tier male players could brand 10 times as much as comparable women. The claim as well referenced the federation'due south own financial reports, which stated that in 2015 the women generated $24 million in consequence revenue, $two million more than the men.

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Solo, in cherry-red, with Squad USA at the FIFA Women's Earth Cup 2015.

Kevin C. Cox Getty Images

Whatever cohesion existed between Solo and her teammates when the EEOC case was filed, though, was interrupted when the team was once more engulfed in Solo-related controversy afterwards her comments at the Rio Olympics and subsequent termination. Many suggested that it reflected a double standard. Some saw a nefarious intent: "I think there'southward probably some legal strategy going on with it all," U.S. frontward Megan Rapinoe said in Keeping Score (which is what Solo believes). Others saw it as inevitable. "[It] was a lifetime achievement award," quipped Solo'due south erstwhile teammate Abby Wambach.

We see life and death very oftentimes. So much of what we exercise tin be catastrophic if we brand mistakes.

The legal strategies of the team and Solo have since unfolded on separate, if like, paths. Just as clear-cut as their electric current cases against USSF can audio, the story is not simple. (Nichols now represents Solo; Kessler represents the team.) Unlike, say, the NBA and WNBA, two carve up for-profit sports leagues, USSF is a nonprofit that oversees both the men's and women'south teams. "And it's illegal [for a single employer] to pay women less than men for doing the aforementioned job," Nichols says. But equally USSF stated in its response to the team's lawsuit, filed in May, the women receive guaranteed salaries, while the men do not. (Different the women, the men tend to have substantial professional person club contracts to fall back on.) The response also declares that differences in pay "are based on differences in the aggregate revenue," pregnant the men'due south team makes more money, non necessarily through events but via sponsorship and Tv rights. Which is likely true for broadcast rights—the men'southward games, on boilerplate, have more viewers—only harder to ascertain with sponsorship.

Things only get more than complicated from in that location. FIFA, for case, owns circulate rights to World Cup games and chooses their allocations—not USSF. (Kessler argues this is irrelevant, since the money flows through USSF, which "has to comply with U.South. legal standards.") And some of the women's initial complaints have been rectified, such as their per diem totaling $60, compared to the men's $75. What USSF'due south critics frequently betoken out is that it has over $160 one thousand thousand in reserves. "The equal pay issue in soccer is non about a lack of money," Pielke says. "Basically, U.S. Soccer does what it wants and no 1 tells them no."

Relations between Solo and the team remain strained. When a reunion for former players was held in L.A. last spring, Solo was invited but didn't attend. "This isn't a new fight for her," says Gallimore, when asked nigh the disconnect. "But Hope Solo gives anybody else a reason to take their eyes off the problem. That's the reality."

Either mode, Solo continues to arouse for alter. Terminal fall, she published a Guardian op-ed nigh the lack of diverseness in U.Due south. Soccer titled "Something Is Broken When The states Women Are Dominated by the White Girls Next Door." 7 months earlier, she ran for president of USSF, an unpaid position. She didn't expect to win, she says. "Merely I knew my voice was important."

At the election, in a hotel ballroom near SeaWorld in Orlando, Florida, Solo was unsparing when she addressed the room. "A vote for [the establishment candidates] is a vote for the status quo: disunity, discord, and more failure," she said. ("Okay, thank you, Hope," said the outgoing president, Sunil Gulati, the hint of condescension in his voice a clear indication of how she'southward perceived within the federation.)

What almost no one knew was that after a long period of trying, Solo had recently go significant, and then miscarried. A week passed earlier Solo, nevertheless in a lot of hurting, learned she'd actually been pregnant with twins, and ane was ectopic. "The doc said I was hours from dying," she says. "They concluded up having to remove my fallopian tube." Days later, she was in Orlando. "That speech took a lot," she says. "Even earlier all that, it would have taken courage."

Since then, she's begun IVF, and has also worked to become more familiar with the area in which she's settled, where Confederate flags are ubiquitous and some of the only friends she and Stevens take made hang a photo of Trump in their dining room. "I tin can't always be quiet," she says, a fact so obvious I briefly recollect she'southward joking. She'south also designed "No Littering" signs for her holding—"It's a pet peeve of mine," she says—but at the farmers' market, ane is in the dorsum of her truck. "I think they were using it for target practice," she says. And this past May, with the Women's World Cup about to begin, she circulate some proficient news: an arbitration panel had ruled the U.S. Olympic Commission had to hear a complaint she'd filed while running for federation president, accusing the USSF of illegally favoring men'due south soccer.

In 2015, on Good Morning America, she sounded remorseful. "I'm a piece of work in progress," she said. That same year, ESPN reported she'd been working with a spiritual counselor and that Stevens had gone into rehab. Merely she told me that she's never had a spiritual counselor and that while Stevens went into rehab, it was only to claiming himself and assist her relieve her job. She likewise says she has few regrets, though she wishes she'd cut people out of her life sooner. (She refers to her half sis every bit being like Cersei Lannister on Game of Thrones.) "Only in the grand scheme of things, the struggles that I've had are really not that large of a deal," she says. "My mom [drank] a lot, merely she became sober, besides, which is pretty incredible." Her dad made some mistakes, "just at to the lowest degree I had a male parent who I knew loved me."

At the market place, I ask a few times if she misses the intensity of goalkeeping. "I think I needed this sense of peace," she says. But later she texts, worried she'south painted an overly idyllic prototype of her life. She describes having to put animals downward when they become hurt and dealing with wildfires and coyotes. "I guess I wanted to tell you because we just had a semi-out- of-control fire day, and it scared me half to expiry," she writes, referring to a controlled burn on her property. "We see life and death very often. So much of what we do can exist catastrophic if we make mistakes. It'southward not for the faint of heart."

Hair by Ashley Watts; Makeup by Pi Leonard at the Powder Group; On-set production by Robert Liberatore at Moledro Media; Location: BB&T Soccer Complex at Bryan Park, Northward Carolina.

This commodity originally appeared in the July 2019 issue of ELLE.

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